Tyler’s Unqualified Fantasy Corner: Championship Week

We made it. It’s here. Championship week.

It’s been a hell of a season, a whole lot of highs, a ton of lows.

Whether you picked Saquon Barkely first overall and it derailed your season, or you stole Lamar Jackson in the back end of the draft that led you to near eternal glory, this season was one of lessons.

Usually, you can take a lot from a Fantasy Season, for example, whatever I say…do the opposite! It always works out!

Some other lessons learned:

  1. First and foremost, just pick Christian McCaffrey, it always works out.
  2. Pick a top 5 or 6 tight end. If you get one of the big 5 or 6, it makes setting your lineup a whollllle lot easier.
  3. DO NOT OVERTHINK. If a guy is questionable and he’s an unquestioned starter, leave him in there.
  4. Don’t trust any Dolphin or Redskin or Bengal or Lion when Stafford isn’t playing.
  5. Having Lamar Jackson on your team is fun.
  6. Playing against Lamar Jackson is not fun.
  7. Trust the young guys.
  8. Don’t reach for a quarterback, you end up with Phil Rivers or Big Ben if you do that and then you’re screwed.
  9. We have to do something next year to keep Nick Downey out of the championship, it’s getting ridiculous.
  10. If you’re making 60 moves on your way to the end of the season, it probably isn’t going to end well. Trust yourself.

Maybe that should be the Fantasy Football Commandments. At least for this year. They will be amended for 2020 when Joe Burrow is quarterbacking the Cincinatti Bengals and the Dolphins pick 37 people in the first round.

OK, people (except for @789Media’s own Chris Collymore) it is time to go win your championship and achieve eternal glory (and some cash)



Image result for breshad perriman
(Photo: CBS Sports)

Michael Gallup, DAL WR

Well….he’s playing the Eagles.



Breshad Perriman, TB WR

Chris Godwin and Mike Evans have moved on as force ghosts (until 2020) and there is nobody left but Perriman, OJ Howard and Joey Galloway’s makeup from that college football show. This guy is catching a 70 yard bomb on Saturday and I am willing to guarantee it.*


*and by guarantee it I mean simply I HOPE SO!

Greg Ward Jr., PHI WR

It is hard for me to write this as I am screaming inaudible nonsense from my roof ever since the last drive against the Redskins on Sunday, but Ward is going to continue to step up, on the way to the Eagles miracle win Sunday. A beautiful sight to see really.


It’s simple. I won’t be. The Eagles definitely won’t do that thing where after two wins they completely disappear and get blown to smithereens. Nope. There is no way.


Image result for melvin gordon
(Photo: Dylan Buell/Getty Images)

OJ Howard, TB TE

Frankly, I don’t care that there is literally nobody left for Jameis to throw to, Howard night just be the biggest fantasy disappointment this entire season, and you’re going to put your championship in his hands? Uh…PASS


Like I have said about 3 times already, there is literally nobody left for Jameis to throw to. Literally, no one.

Melvin Gordon, LAC RB

As people close to me know, I have been telling everybody Melvin Gordon stinks all years. Obviously, he doesn’t. However, for fantasy purposes, he is second fiddle in the Chargers backfield, The Chargers are terrible, and they’re offense is terrible. There are plenty of star table players on the offense, Gordon is not one of them. If Gordon didn’t cost you a shot at the title this week, don’t let him cost you this week, sit him.


You know that Gordon is going for 100 yards and two touchdowns, right? This is going to the Gordon’s last fantasy week on the Chargers. He’s going off. Surely.

Tom Brady, NE QB

He’s cooked. Well, not really. But maybe? I don’t know. Don’t start him, he’s not winning you a fantasy title. He may win his real team another one, but not you. You aren’t getting one if you start him.


Live look at you when Brady throws his 4th touchdown:

First off I want to thank everybody for their continued support throughout the season. It means the world to me.

To be able to do this for a second year is something I never even thought possible, and the fact people even read and interact with me on these still blows my mind every time.

So again, without getting too sappy, thank you so much to everybody who helps contribute, help with the jokes, players etc. You all mean the world to me! Be sure to be on the lookout for non-Fantasy related content soon.

TD out.

Tyler’s Unqualified Fantasy Corner: Round 2

Well…if you’ve made it this far, congratulations! If not…that stinks!

It’s semi-finals weekend, and your star players are DROPPING like flies.

Mike Evans? Sorry, goodbye. DJ Chark? Awfully shaky leaving Sunday’s blowout loss in a walking boot. Still starting Odell Beckham? You’re probably playing in the toilet bowl.

We’re getting into where teams are fighting for seeding, random players are stepping up, and the NFC East is a hot pile of trash that will surely go until the bitter end and torture us all.

Now is not the time to overthink it (obviously), stick to your go-to players that got you to this point, even if they’ve strung together a bad week or two.

With injuries, benchings, and weird scenarios popping up all over the place though, it is crucial to make sure if there are significant holes going into a must win game, that you have a plan.

Let’s get right to it.


Image result for cooper kupp
(Photo: Carmen Mandato/Getty Images)

Raheem Mostert, SF RB

As I am sitting here, admiring Raheem Mostert’s season and how far he has come, something about him seems familiar, and I couldn’t figure out why…

On, now I remember.

Image result for raheem mostert eagles
( Photo: Jeff Hanisch, USA TODAY Sports)

Yet just another amazing job by the Eagles here.

Whoops I’m getting bitter. Mostert has been awesome, and he looks untouchable at times. If you’re in a bind, give him a start.


Brieda is finally back and the Niners have a new running back go off every other twenty minutes. What did I JUST say about sticking with your guys? C’mon.

Cooper Kupp, LAR WR

Cooper Kupp is struggling lately, and I am not entirely sure why. He has a touchdown in each of the last two games, but with the emergence of Tyler Higbee, among others, Kupp has taken a backseat, for whatever reason. The experts are hopping off the Kupp bandwagon. Me, also being an expert, harshly disagrees. They’re playing indoors in Dallas this weekend. Kupp is going off. Book it.


The Cowboys wake up, Jared Goff remembers he is Jared Goff, and he only completes twelve passes, ten of which go to Robert Woods.

Marvin Jones Jr., DET WR

I don’t know why, but this week feels like one of those Marvin Jones multiple touchdowns type weeks. I don’t know why I think that, but I do.


His QB is a create a player and the Lions stink, that feeling must just be indigestion.

UPDATE: So as I wrote this Marvin Jones got thrown on IR….but everybody makes mistakes, including me. I know I know, shocking. But I’m leaving it in here accepting a loss. Because that’s what heroes do.


Image result for golden tate
(Photo: GiantsWire)

Boston Scott, PHI RB

Come on… I know I know, I too have converted my Boston Scott hype train credentials to full-time. But don’t do this, you know better.



Golden Tate, NYG WR

Golden Tate was having a wonderful season for the absymal Giants until that concussion. He did absolutely nothing against his former team on Monday, and it looks like he is third on the target list behind Darius Slayton and Sterling Shepard. If you have another option, don’t start Tate.


If you are a frequent reader of this here column, you will remember that I have been wrong on Giants wide receivers ZERO times.

(As per usual please do not look at old articles, you are not allowed.)

Jamison Crowder, NYJ WR

I believe it was in this very article that I declared Crowder as a must start. In a month since I have done that he has scored about 8 total points. So, it might be time to put ole Crowder in the back burner.


Who do the Jets play again? *checks notes* Yeah..go ahead and just not.

We do’nt have any cheesy outro this week. I will see you all in the championship!*

*Except my opponents, specifically sister, who’s season will come to a miserable end this weekend.*

Tyler’s Unqualified Fantasy Corner: Week 12

As we come down to the wire here, I am going to do something I don’t usually do, talk about my fantasy league. I’m sure you all don’t normally care about hearing about other people’s fantasy leagues, but frankly, this is very funny.

I am in a league with 11 of my closest family and friends and have been now for four years in a row. We have many rivalries here. For example, we have three sets of siblings, one set of them being twins, a parent of two other league members, a pair of roommates, and Harney and anybody he beats. They have been compared to the battles of Ancient Rome.

“I can’t believe I’m relying on Joe Mixon to save my season,” Tim Egan, 26, twin brother of Conor Egan, explained to me recently.

“Can you believe he threw me down an elevator shaft for THIS?!” Emperor of the Galactic Empire Sheev Palpatine explained, “All I did was suggest that Zach Ertz was washed!”

We have added and gotten rid of rules and other quirks of the league, and this year is a lot of firsts. My Dad has beat his arch-rival, Bill Ghaul, for literally the first time in four years. This is the first year I have gone over 5 wins in a single season (not to brag of course). It’s also the first year our commissioner, Dylan Drumm, a close friend of the program, has locked down more than 4 losses for the first time in this league’s first term.

“It’s crazy,” Dan Ehinger, 25 year old man with a good K/D in Modern Warfare described to me, “one minute I’m in dead last, I wake up a year later and look at the standings and I’m at the top!”

While it’s subject to change, we’ve had only 2 champions (my younger brother Nick and my pal and another close friend of the program, BigKoov) in the three years before this season and they’re both outside the playoffs right now. Again….talk to me in a week about that one when Kev beats me and vaults Nick ahead of me.

Another first for us is the illustrious last place punishment. We have tinkered with this idea for years, only this year we finally came up with a solution: last place makes an Instagram fitness account that one must post on once a week.

I reached out to BigKoov, aforementioned local man in last place, for comment on the race for the account, he said to me: “Shut up sir, I’m contacting the police.”

For context, out of 12 people, one played real college sports, so yes, we’re all world-class athletes. So our league account is going to set the globe on fire with our sponsors.

There are 4 teams in the running, and it is coming down to the WIRE.

The moral of the story here, if you’re my friends Kyle, Kev, Koov, and noted Lamar Jackson non-believer Mike, you can’t throw away the bad year strictly because of Tyreek Hill’s injuries, or because you can’t get a quarterback to score more than -1, and definitely not because you picked 7 running backs and no defense or kicker, you have to fight til the end. Each of them are set up quite nicely to absolutely ruin somebody else’s season (MINE) and save themselves from the Instagram infamy(?)

Then again, maybe I should get back to running more instead of writing about managing my fake football team and worrying that since I’ve written this I’ve cursed myself to saving at least one of them from punishment.

You’re right, silly idea.



Image result for dallas goedert"
(Photo: RotoBaller)

The Colts Backfield

So Marlon Mack broke his hand, because of course he did. Right when I’m gearing up for a run. He’s gone. SO, it’s time to believe in the Colts Committee, led by Nyheim Hines, Jordan Wilkins and some guy named Williams, I trust them. Right after the Texans get thrashed by King Lamar, they’ll be licking their wounds on a short week. Opportunities are aplenty. Start those Colts.


You don’t even know this dudes name and you’re starting him. Remember when I told you to start a guy named Brian Hill 7 days ago. Yeah that went well.

D.K Metcalf, SEA WR

He’s playing the Eagles.


He’s playing the Eagles.

Dallas Goedert, PHI TE

I know. He’s on the Eagles. That alone should warrant you to just not. However, Goedert will get looks, he’s been getting more targets recently because the Eagles are starting 6 guys from my fantasy league at wide receiver. Well, they might as well be. He’ll get the ball, and the Hawks stink against tight ends.



Image result for nick foles"
(Photo: CBS Sports)

Brian Hill, ATL RB

I am so sorry, just don’t.


If I’m wrong for the second consecutive week on Brian Hill I will do absolutely nothing except pretend nothing ever happened in the first place.

Nick Foles, JAX QB

So BDN is back, great news; however, not great news if you’re trying to start him. He struggled against the Colts and now he’s got Tennessee. The suddenly frisky Titans. They’re pushing for the playoffs. I think they’re going to give ol’ St. Nick fits.


Screenshot this and send it my way after DJ Chark’s third touchdown Sunday.

Darius Slayton, NYG WR

The guy I affectionately called “WHO!??” for 6 weeks to start the season. Darius Slayton has come on a bit here for the G-Men. Sadly for him, so has Golden Tate, who’s on fire and should be in your lineup unquestioned. Slayton has the skills, he just isn’t there yet.


I don’t know the Giants are bizarre they might mess around and win. Okay, they won’t, but Slayton might make some noise.

ALRIGHT, saddle in, folks. It’s going to be a wild Week 12. I’ll keep everybody posted on the Great War for the Instagram Account. It’s going to be ELECTRIC.

If your league has a hilarious punishment, let a guy know @tdowney_ so we can inevitably steal it for our league.

Shoutout to the gang for letting me expose the league this week.

See y’all next week!

Tyler’s Unqualified Fantasy Corner: Week 11

Well…that was bizarre.

What a week. Colts lose to the Dolphins, Lamar Jackson might be the greatest person at their job I have ever seen in my entire life, and Jared Goff couldn’t have beaten St. Bernies in the Turkey Bowl with that performance.

You’re always due for one extremely bizarre week of football late in the season, and I think we got that this weekend. We had title contenders getting punched in the mouth, tanking teams doing the punching, and SaQuon Barkley getting a single yard rushing.

It was an odd week, but you can’t let that deter you from the goal. It’s Week 11, there’s THREE weeks left not to mess this up, this is not the time for drastic measures. You stay the course, play who got you here (barring injury and bye weeks of course) and ride your hot hands.

Let’s not waste any time! Pick time.


Image result for brian hill"
(Photo: Yahoo Sports)

Tom Brady, NE QB


Boy, do I hope I am.

Christian Kirk, ARI WR

I think we have finally hit the point of the program where Christian Kirk is a must-start. Yes, just the week prior, he had 2 catches for 8 yards…which is not good. However, you saw Kirk at full strength for the first time all year this past weekend. The Cardinals have San Francisco again this weekend. I don’t think they slow him down again.


The 49ers slow him down again. Just like I predicted the entire time. Because I am always am right.

Brian Hill, ATL RB

I have to be honest with everybody, I was exactly today years old when I found out who Brian Hill was. Brian Hill had 21 carries Sunday, and I watched a majority of that game. I had no idea. Guess what, that is EXACTLY why you should start him Sunday. The unknown is the most certain thing in fantasy football. This guy is going off. I can FEEL it. Start him. Forget about it. Reap the rewards.


I’m sorry….you started WHO???!???


Image result for zach pascal"
(Photo: USA Today)

Randall Cobb, DAL WR

Randall Cobb certainly had a good game last week. That is something you can’t really say a lot of nowadays. With Gallup, Cooper and Zeke, I just don’t see Cobb’s success being sustainable. There’s too many options for Prescott to go to, Cobb isn;t reliable enough. If you are starting Cobb at this point, you have booked your ticket to the toilet bowl.


Cobb zips on by the deterioting Lions defense in the first game the Cowboys have played during the day in what seems like 7 months. & catches 132 yards and a touchdown. Book it.

Zach Pascal, IND WR

What I have come to notice as a Jacoby Brissett stan is that during these Colts games here, when Brissett and T.Y. Hilton don’t play, these guys STINK! I don’t understand, Frank Reich is a great coach, but the guys outside those two aren’t getting the job done. I like Pascal, but until the Colts skill players earn trust, nobody outside the two mentioned above and Mack should start.


Pascal is going to look like Randy Moss with Jacoby coming back in a big division game. Jags stopping the Colts? Yeah right.

Mike Williams, LAC WR

I miss good Mike Williams, because this one isn’t fun. The Chargers are a bumbling mess, they can’t get anything going. They are still crazy talented, but for some reason can’t put it together. It’s like watching your favorite TV show that has come super close to winning multiple Emmy awards flop right before your very eyes in the final season on the air. Don’t start Williams


First off, I would like to thank the academy for single-handedly willing Mike Williams to a good fantasy week, Secondly, I am super glad I am not playing him this week after throwing him the ole’ Tyler Downey reverse jinx. I really am for the people.

Don’t lose focus now, people, the time is now to secure your spot in the playoffs, or earn that bye week, or absolutely tank away your season. Stay focused and embrace the hustle.

Now, if you will excuse me, I will be watching Disney+ (not sponsored, Disney, hit my line, let’s talk.)

See y’all next week!

Tyler’s Unqualified Fantasy Corner: Week 9


Hope is a tricky thing. You can go from having none whatsoever, to all the hope in the world. Your team could be down 25 and you could have the bleakest outlook on existence possible in that moment…and within a blink of an eye, be down 4 on one play and you’re on top of the world….

…only to lose after you stay down 4 forever. Or, your favorite basketball team is down 8 with 6 minutes left, and they gut it out. Sometimes, it’s within a hair that it can go either way.

Regardless, you have to have hope.

I’ve been gearing up for a certain movie from a certain franchise that’s owned by a certain company that’s coming out in a few short weeks, and the theme of the entire franchise: hope.

(I’m talking about Star Wars, in case you didn’t know.)

Without hope, you have nothing. Everything you do should be based on hope. Along with that hope, comes action. You hope things go in your favor, but it is up to you to make it so.

Just like our hero Luke, he was the “hope” to take down the Empire, but it was up to him to not succumb to the dark side and the lure of his father to join the Emperor.

For us, the Emperor is the toilet bowl, not being in the illustrious final 4 or 6 left, infinite mortality. It is, our Death Star.

We feel the pull of giving up after that close 1 point loss after that dreadful Monday Night game. You’re 3-5, staring the Dark Side in the face.

Use the force, grab your light saber, and go to work against your next opponent.

The toilet bowl underestimated the power of the waiver wire, and now it will be it’s undoing, because we had hope.

Another week toward the playoff push, let’s get cracking.


Image result for carson wentz"
(Photo: The Athletic)

Curtis Samuel, CAR WR

I don’t know what it is telling me that this is going to happen, but the Panthers are coming back in a strong way this weekend. They were embarrassed in San Francisco last weekend, that was a beat down for the ages. They bounce back in a big way. That jet sweep to Curtis Samuel for a long touchdown leads the charge.


Instead of this week being the bounce back, it begins the downfall of Kyle Allen and the Panthers. Last weekend was a precursor to the end. That tough Titans Defense stiffens up to shut down the Panthers and Samuel. Who unlike Luke using the force to take the Death Star, is unable to skate past the staunch defenders.

Diontae Johnson, PIT WR

Diontae Johnson has come on a bit here for Mason Rudolph. He had a big touchdown against the Dolphins the other night, and he has proven to be a big play threat. The Steelers have a massive few games coming up, and if they want to make a playoff push, they will need big plays. Johnson will provide them.


Johnson has been very hit or miss. And lately, it has been hit miss hit miss hit miss. You get the idea. Don’t try to go overboard. Be smart, fellow Jedi Masters.

Carson Wentz, PHI QB

Call it a gut feeling.


Trust me.


Image result for lesean mccoy"
Photo: ChiefsWire

Kenyan Drake, ARI RB

Kenyan Drake could be literally hand-gifted 400 yards on a silver platter and I still wouldn’t trust him. I don’t care what team he is on, I don’t care if he’s the only guy on the damn field. Do me a favor, and don’t.


Being as though Kenyan Drake is the only healthy dude in his new teams backfield, he is probably going to get opportunities, and it’s a Thursday game, so it’s going to be weird. So, I am probably wrong. But, Drake has wronged me so much personally I am just telling you how it is like playing him in your lineup. It stinks. Don’t do it.

LeSean McCoy, KC RB

I don’t know if it is Andy Reid, or the committee hasn’t been working, but the Chiefs backfield is atrocious. McCoy, the Williams’, it doesnt matter who it is, they can’t produce. Every time McCoy has something going, he fumbles and he is off the field. You would think that McCoy would step up with Mahomes out…buuuut he hasn’t. Stay clear of Shady, and anybody in the Chiefs backfield for that matter.


McCoy looks like the McCoy of old as he is using the force to stutter step through the Vikings defense like they’re the worthless droid army in Episodes II and III.

Jameis Winston, TB QB

Call it a gut feeling….I’m just kidding it’s Jameis Winston.


Lol don’t start Jameis Winston, come on.

Alright, young padawans. A new week, and new opportunity for the push to the playoffs, and THIS is the week you set yourselves apart from your friends in your league.

Why? Because you listened to a dork writing about Star Wars puns, and then did the exact opposite of what he says, because you’re SMART!

See y’all next week.

Tyler’s Unqualified Fantasy Corner: Week 5

There’s a refreshing feeling about something new. Whether it’s the iPhone that just came out with 65 cameras on it, that PS4 you finally got after wanting it for 3 years, a new job, or a new quarterback starting in your favorite teams backfield.

For a lot of teams in the NFL, it’s been a changing of the guard this season. Out with the Big Ben, the Luck, the Brees, the BOAT and the (possibly) Cam, in with Mason Rudolph, Jacoby Brissett, Teddy B, GARDNER MINSHEW and Kyle Allen.

Whether your team sinks or swims when QB1 goes down or leaves, it strikes up a feeling of uncertainly, nervousness, and a little excitement. These guys have been holding it down in the league in some cases since many of us remember, so to change it up is fresh. Especially with mustached gunslingers with a knack for late game heroics.

What I’m trying to say here is, change is good, taking risks is a must, and you might just get a little bit of luck on your side in the meantime,

So with that being said start Marquez Valdez-Scantling on a whim because you think he’ll go deep, take that new job, you never know what might happen, you might fall right into a franchise quarterback in the 6th round.

Alright, let’s jump into this week shall we?!


Image result for jacoby brissett
Photo: CBS Sports

Jacoby Brissett, IND QB

I LOVE the Colts this year, they let me down last week, and that’s okay, because my other best friend Darren Waller and the Raiders got a nice W. But, Brissett is putting up better numbers week by week, this week they have a huge game against Kansas City, it’s going to be a big test for the newly minted Colts franchise QB. The Chiefs defense stinks, expect Jacoby to go off and who knows, they might just shock the world.


Pat Mahomes snaps his fingers and the Colts don’t feel so good. It gets so bad that the Colts fall behind by so much we see Chad Kelly’s ghost before it ends, mercifully.

Golden Tate, NYG WR

One of the PED warriors is back from his four game suspension just in time to help Danny Dimes in the passing game. In all seriousness, the Giants are getting rolling here a little bit, and Tate is returning to give them an even bigger boost. Expect him to be targeted early and often by Jones.


Tate is so rusty coming off suspension he pulls his hammy early in the first and you’re left with a nice 4 points in your flex spot, nice!

Ronald Jones, TB RB

I am just so proud of me for never doubting Ronald Jones after last years disaster. And now that I have stopped lying to you, you can go ahead and start him. 3 out of 4 games this year he’s posted 70 yards on less than 20 touches. That is efficiency for you, folks. He is the most talented back on that team and he is finally getting the chance to prove it. If one of your guys is on a bye this week, give RJ a go.


Well, there’s about 7 backs coming out of that backfield and Bruce Arians may kiel over before this season ends.


Image result for josh jacobs
Photo: San Francisco Chronicle

Robby Anderson, NYJ WR

In case you have been living under a rock, here’s a live look at Jets fans this year:

Image result for we suck again gif

Their QB got the smoochy virus and now they have a 5th string QB slinging the ball out of the backfield, if you even want to call it that. Stay away from any Jet not named Lev Bell.


Image result for harden face

Juju Smith-Schuster, PIT WR

I love Juju, and I actually like Mason Rudolph, but until he can get the ball to Juju on a consistent basis, he is too much of a liability to be in the lineup right now. He can’t get open, and he’s not getting the downfield targets. Leave him on the bench.


My track record with saying bench your top picks has really gone well so far hasn’t it…

Josh Jacobs, OAK RB

I love me some Josh Jacobs. He’s been a great rookie, he runs hard and he gets the volume carries. However, he’s got the Khalil Mack monster on the other side this weekend. Not to mention a revenge game against the Raiders for Mack? Yikes. You can afford to sit Jacobs this week.


Cmon, again with the sitting of a top pick?

*watches Bears defense highlights….KHALIL MACK IS ON THE BEARS*

Ya know what, I feel confident about this one too.

Week 5 coming in hot, everybody enjoy the completely uneven 10/2 1 pm and 4 pm split on games this weekend which I still don’t understand and never will.

I’ll see everybody next Wednesday!